This week I learned an important lesson. Do not try and grade all of your class papers in two days.
Monday
Today, the Regular students just read, and the Honors students made an organization chart focusing on the reading for The Old Man and the Sea. The students worked well, but I was also swamped with the planning a lesson for the next day as well as grading papers. My lesson consisted of building a sentence from just a subject. Today was a shortened day.
Tuesday
The students worked on reading skills for their respective books. I realized today that I really don't like work days. I understand that charts or reading organizers help the students organize their thoughts from a book, but I would rather practice teaching. There are things I would like to work on before next week when I am observed by my CS and the Principal next week. To be honest, I know the students get tired of doing the same thing too, but my CT and his team are so focused on not "coloring" and making things "fun" that they are boring teachers at times. I guess they feel they make up for their lessons with personality. I truly believe balance is key; it is important to teach the fundamentals, but can't we have fun too? It's starting to get a bit ridiculous of how much graphic organizing we do.
Wednesday
I had a bad day today. I gave my lesson on sentence structure to the Regulars; my rowdy class, was extremely rowdier because it included them building sentences with the words that I choose for modifiers, subjects, phrases, as well as predicates. The words were more than rowdy. My CT observed this class, he sort of grilled me after the fact, because I decided to let the students sit where they wanted this time. I went to each group, but he said that I didn't spend enough time with each of the groups, I spent more time with others. I knew that I had a slight issue with management in that particular class this time. I was somewhat annoyed with him because he never tells me what I do well, only what I do wrong. The second class went extremely better, but I was not as patient with them because my CT had grilled me moments before. I believe my CT is a great teacher, it's just been a long 8 weeks thus far and his style of feedback is getting annoying. Anyway, it did not help that I had a migraine the entire day and was feeling sick for most if not all of the day.
Thursday
Today, I came in with some ideas for the regulars and presented them to the "team," but I guess they weren't "feeling" my idea because they just decided they were going to do what something else and we worked on that. I couldn't even get mad because my heart isn't in this "planning" anymore. I'm tired of doing the same stuff and I am so happy next week is my last full week of teaching. I've been telling my students that they should be preparing to have their teacher return. However, many of them have expressed they want me to stay. I have informed them that I am nowhere near as good a teacher as my CT, but I can see why they don't care for him very much. Anyway, the Honors students, did yet another graphic organizer based on their book. The regulars did a review of sentence structure and worked on their chart.
Friday
My CT did not come in today. I'm pretty sure he took a personal day. I was somewhat annoyed because he didn't even email me again, just like last time he was absent, he emailed his co teacher and he told me that my CT would not be in. The regulars had a quiz today, and I handed all of my students their papers back. My students expressed their joy of having feedback on each of their papers when I handed them back. They said my CT didn't write anything on their first papers and just put a grade. Again, issues with feedback not only me, but my students as well. I was extremely tired today, I stayed up late and woke up at 4 am to finish grading papers. Today, was my last full day of teaching. On Monday, I give my regular classes back to my CT.
********************
This week as really hard, I have so much work from my TC class that I need to catch up on and I'm falling behind on my planning as well. I'm just overwhelmed right now and I'm ready to be done. I want to finish strong and I've been trying to pray, stay positive, and remain willing to help my students, many of them have checked out for the semester. This week, I had to remember to remain professional, even through my struggles. Standard 11 Professional Conduct states, "The competent teacher understands education as a profession, maintains standards of professional conduct, and provides leadership to improve students' learning and well-being." Remaining professional and acting is a large part of teaching. When things are hard, it's easy to get caught up in your feelings, but remaining professional can help you continue to cater to your students.
Courtney
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteI sense your frustration in this post. I'm wondering if your supervisor is reading these and giving you any feedback. Has she talked with your CT about the fact that you need to receive positive feedback.
OK, let's find a new paradigm. Let's just say that when he doesn't say anything, it is his positive. That's your goal. Let's not expect him to give you a compliment.
So going forward you need to work at the issues that he has pointed out to you. One thing I'd suggest is that you don't let a rowdy class sit where they want. You need to have them earn that privilege. I don't understand the statement "The words were more than rowdy." I think that you need to find a way to manage the class first. That has to be your priority. It doesn't matter that your students like you, they have to be engaged in the learning and that they know you are in charge.
Also I want you to be able to feel free to need advice. You have experts in your court and you should ask your college supervisor for the support and encouragement you have been lacking from your CT. Also I think you should ask for her advice about the management.
If the "team" doesn't like your ideas that's OK. This is their school and their students and your goal is to impact student learning they way they see fit. They have to know you can teach their way before they will let you try or all try your ideas.
I hope this post doesn't seem like I'm against you because I'm not. I'm in your court and want you to succeed and make a positive impression.
Please, please ask your supervisor for guidance so you can end well. I know that you are a good teacher but you still have a lot to learn and I'm hoping you are open to that.
I appreciate your honesty. I'm wondering why you have work to do for Trinity. I'm thinking you have your portfolio left. Has being so far been a hindrance to you? I know you want to end well and I want you to leave this experience believing you are called to teaching and have learned a lot from this experience.
Speaking from my heart for your best interest.
Dr. Meyer